Telle est la vie. Traiter avec elle.... Such is life. Deal with it.

I have a lot of friends, but I feel alone most of the time.

I stopped trusting people a year ago.

The reason behind that is, I'm sick and tired of being used as a shock absorber and "therapy doll".

A lot of my so-called friends cling to me when they go through low points in their lives.

I help them through their darkest hours. They drain me of whatever strength I have. And, when they get to the end of the tunnel, they leave me there. Broken. Drained. Depressed. On the verge of suicide. (Okay, that's a bit too much, but you get the point)
 
When they're happy and in love, they forget about me. They don't even send those cheesy forwarded quotes and jokes through email or SMS anymore.

The last time it happened, it was with a friend I was in love with. I don't know if he knew how I felt, but that's not the point. The point is, you should never do that to your friends.

I'm not asking my so-called friends to return the favor and help me out or anything. When I have a problem, I don't burden anyone else with it. I went through hell and back with only my twin sister as support (I can't hide anything from her) All I am asking is for them to remember me when they DON'T NEED me.

I'm sick and tired of feeling depressed because of everyone else's problems.

I'm a sucker for sad stories though. I just can't stand seeing people feeling hurt and lonely. It's hard for me to say no when a friend asks for help. Some of them even come back after a year or two. Guess what? They've got another problem.

I just hope that the next time I help a friend out (if there's anyone left that I haven't helped) is for our friendship to continue long after they've found their fairy-tale ending.

update about my previous blog post:

i'm not in trouble. at least i think i'm not.

this is still a lesson for me. once is a mistake, twice is stupid. if it happens a third time, i deserve whatever comes to me!

i'm not quite off the hook yet because i also have to face consequences of some minor mistakes that piled up and turned in to a big issue. but that's not as bad as the one i was worried about.

everyone is probably thinking i'm messed up. it's okay. i am messed up.

i wouldn't have to write anything if the people in my life hadn't given up on me.

life it seems, is playing tricks on me...

this can't be happening!

it's all my fault. i regret having done the things i did.

no excuses this time.

i just have to face it.

do something about it.

when will i ever learn?

I don't understand why some people just don't get it... or maybe I'm not getting it...